“A Simple Yes”
A simple “yes.” Dammit! That’s all I was looking for! Was I asking for too much? I am fighting for my life! Why in the fuck does she still insist I look for wife? Fuck!
Yes, for over a year, I’ve been fighting for my life. Three times a week, I recycle my blood, without using a knife. As I fight to stay alive, my family seems preoccupied in continuing their internal strife.
Is this price I must pay for being the only boy? Would things have been different if my father was around? When I asked for a simple ‘’yes,” would my mother display the same frown? Shit! I’m lucky and blessed to still be above ground.
It was one October day, when I felt I would forever be going away. I know it sounds cliché, but somehow I was able to live another birthday. I am grateful to my sister, for she transported me to the hospital, on that somber and gray day.
Like you, I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. Are they angry at me because I am the only one with a degree? Why would they be? Any normal person would think they would be proud of me. If my father was here, maybe he would be.
Things have been this way ever since I can remember. As the only boy, was I expected to be stronger? Was I supposed to be tough? God knows I’ve been through some stuff. My own mother was close to putting me in handcuffs. What the fuck?! Was I expected not to cry? Will anyone give a shit when I die?
My family’s strife is real. Will these words give them a glimpse of how I feel? Through the years, by them, my accomplishments simply went unnoticed. Yes, they never needed to be concealed. Even my good deeds have been questioned in the past. Is our family strife really that vast?
I don’t remember the day, but it was in the hospital, and definitely in October. While fighting for my life, I thought that perhaps, at least for that day, the family strife would be over. I was wrong. My sisters could not be in the same room, because their egos are too strong.
A simple “yes.” That’s all I was looking for. It didn’t come, but that did not change the outcome. I am moving forward without it. I have no choice. I must continue the fight. If I don’t, whether they like it or not, they will be placing me in a gravesite.