“Goodbye”
“Goodbye”
The time has come to say goodbye. I’m not sure why I can’t, but I really want to cry. Has my well of tears gone dry? Perhaps I have simply accepted that the time has come for you to die.
The time has come to say goodbye. I’m not sure why I can’t, but I really want to cry. Has my well of tears gone dry? Perhaps I have simply accepted that the time has come for you to die.
On our last night together, I was showered by your flow of tears. Together, we embarked on an impossible journey as we chose to ignore our fears. Reality has slapped us in the face. Now we both must face our spouses and children with disgrace.
I was wrong in believing I was
someone important in your life.
Today, as you walk down the aisle,
I’m a stranger that freezes the moments
when you become someone else’s wife.
“In deep silence, with his hug, he said everything he needed to say. ‘I love you. I’ll look over you. Goodbye son.’ He was ready to meet God, so he left.”
Yesterday, outside my window, a mockingbird sang. Early this morning, in a lonely corner, my house phone rang. I let it ring and ring, while looking out the window, hoping to hear any bird sing.
In hopes the caller would give up, I continued to let the phone ring. He didn’t hang up. Dad knew I was home. His instructions were clear. I knew what to bring. The time had come to keep my word. The promise I made him in the presence of a lively mockingbird.
On that day, as the mockingbird sang, with his weak voice, he said, “There is no better way, to spend my last day. Please hold my hand, until you feel my last breath. The pain I feel now, may be worse than death.”
In a crackling voice, he went on to say, “Son, I am dying. There is no sense in crying. When the time comes, I need you to be strong. I need to know you’re going to be okay, after I am gone.”
I once thought he moved to Oregon to be close to mom, his one and only bride. He confessed that long ago, he decided on assisted suicide. He chose me, his only son, to be by his bedside. As painful as this was, his wish was something that could not be denied.
After countless rings, I answered the phone. In a soft and weak whisper, he said, “It’s time. Please come alone.”
We are in the longest government shutdown in history. To me, it feels like an elementary school fight to determine who rules the playground. In the meantime, federal employees are not getting paid for their work. Yes, they will get paid ‘eventually’, but who will cover their expenses while the children in Washington play games? Is there an adult on the playground?
The games they are playing are real. American lives are the chips. The audience is the world. The venue, The United States of America. I can’t help wonder what other world leaders are thinking of our country during these times. Perhaps they are enjoying the show while laughing their asses off. Perhaps they are planning attacks. Or maybe, just maybe, they are speeding up the attacks they have already planned. That can’t be possible. Can it? After all, our Commander in Chief recently and proudly announced that we have defeated ISIS.
I believe our guard is down. Our patriotic shield is weak and the moral fabric of this country is quickly deteriorating. One thing is for sure. History is being written right now. Only time will tell how much damage these games will cause. Right now though, common sense tells the audience that these games are bad for our country.
Will we emerge as a united country once again? Will our soldiers continue to express their pride in protecting this great nation? Unlike what some of the children in Washington may say, these soldiers are not on a paid vacation. As an American, I’m grateful for all the sacrifices they make to protect our freedom and this great nation.
As I think of the current state of our nation, I am reminded of “I Belong”, a poem I wrote from the perspective of a proud American Soldier who is in love with his wife and his country. If there is an adult on the playground, please jump in at any time to establish order. A collapsed country will have no need for a border.
The adult on our playground was Coach Don. He always made sure our playground was safe and solved any playground quarrels quickly. After doing so, all the children happily went off to play together or to enjoy the sprinklers, especially during the hot summer days. Coach Don always knew exactly when to turn on the sprinklers.
In case you are interested, here is my poem: I Belong.
Angel of mine. You took me under your wing and taught me all that you know. To continue your work, you recently confessed that you chose me a long time ago.
Angel of mine. Life dealt you a deathblow. From this earth, you have departed. I don’t know why, but you have placed your trust in me and you have blessed me with the task to finish what you have started.
You kept me company as long as you could. Oh, how I miss you Angel of Mine. As if asking for my permission, you left once I said, “It’s ok. I’m up for the task. I will be fine.”
Enough! Enough! Enough!
Yes! Enough of your prayers! Enough of your kind words! Enough of your thoughts! They no longer console me and they will never replace what I have lost!
ENOUGH is no longer enough! No more prayers! I am tired of your kind words and warm thoughts! They do not prevent anyone from killing me in a bar, school or a concert parking lot. Enough talk! I want to feel safe when I stand on my sidewalk.
I stand tall, proud and strong when I vote and even when I walk. From my politicians, I demand some straight talk! I urge them to speak the truth! I challenge them to do what’s right! This should not be a political fight! I think about this every time I visit my daughter’s gravesite. She always spoke the truth. In my darkest hours, she was my shining light.
No more prayers! Enough talk! Enough moments of silence! From the problem, they are a mere distraction! I need more! To find a solution, as a country, we must take action! This is America’s fight. To fight it, requires more than a single party’s political might. To win it, our parties must unite! Enough with the bullshit! Get off your ass! It’s time to do what’s right!
I know your intentions are good, so please don’t get me wrong. But you must understand, the moral fabric of this country is no longer strong. No, those days are gone. The population was less and the circumstances were different in 1791.
It’s been two hundred and twenty-seven years since the Second Amendment was ratified stating that our right to bear arms shall not be infringed. Times have changed. It says nothing about preventing a once healthy soldier and patriot from killing me when his sanity becomes unhinged. Yes, it’s time for change.
Not only should we embrace change, but we must also create it when it is necessary. Our country is at war. Not with other countries, but with our own. We never expected or planned for this type of adversary. The kind that does not think twice when dishing out bullets and sending American Heroes to the cemetery.
I don’t mean to appear ungrateful and I certainly don’t pretend to have all the answers. So please, no more prayers. You may need them when you too have to visit your loved one’s grave because your prayers to keep them safe at school went unanswered.
Every mirror is magical. We all have one. When it speaks, dare to listen. If it does not inspire you, its magic is not for you.
I am beautiful.
Yes, I am beautiful. Perhaps not as stunning as an October moon. I may not even compare to the beauty of the June gloom, but I am beautiful.
Yes, I am beautiful. My beauty does not resemble that of a shining star, but I am beautiful. Some may consider my face is not worthy of receiving a simple caress. In that case, I don’t stress, for I know I am beautiful.
As I look in the mirror, I confirm my beauty. Perhaps you disagree. That’s ok. I don’t live my life to be your cutie.
I am beautiful.