“Smarter Now”

As time passes, I become older and wiser. Some say I am over the hill. If they only knew my story. In order to survive and the reason I am here, I had to stop counting the number of times I had to kill.

I am smarter now. To leave that life behind, my decisions in the now became seemingly harder. After many years of emotional struggle and thousands of horrible nightmares, my decisions in the now are much smarter.

I am smarter now. My new choices and decisions, although difficult, were necessary to pull me away from the life of senseless killings. With time, I traded those for long and lonely nights as a security guard in a warehouse. It was there, on the day I planned to take my own life, that I met an angel, the wonderful woman who is now my wife.

As I play with my children, I often think of that warehouse. I give daily thanks to the angel who sent me my spouse. Today, I’m blessed with a beautiful family. To be the best husband and father I can be, I often do things that my previous family would consider unmanly. I am smarter now.