“There Will Be Tears”

Today, after five years, what we had, came to an end as I watched your blue eyes shed two lonely tears.

It was two thirty in the morning. From a local motel to your place, I considered walking. It was not far, but I somehow I arrived in a car. You were asleep so I walked in without knocking.

My presence awoke you. Was it my manly aroma? The mere presence of my persona? Perhaps it was just Kona?

The urge to smoke was strong. The desire for sex was stronger. What could go wrong? Before and after, I smoked a cigarette. Is this something that I will one day regret?

We slept. We cuddled. We woke. As in many past mornings, you offered me coffee. I walked you to work. Unlike the day in Kona, when I proposed, our time together was rushed and not exactly right. Was I walking away from our future, which at one point we imagined as happy and bright? The morning was cloudy and the ground was wet. Something I noticed as I hugged you goodbye and our bodies met.

I’m already missing you, the clean crisp air and the Oregon rain. Has my excitement to leave numbed my pain? While in LA, what will I experience? Perhaps a new girlfriend, smog or toxic rain? Only time will tell. Once I am there, if I don’t like my job or my boss, I can always send them to hell.