“In deep silence, with his hug, he said everything he needed to say. ‘I love you. I’ll look over you. Goodbye son.’ He was ready to meet God, so he left.”
Her ill-intended words are music to my ears. Her well-intended silence is always a stab to my heart and in the strangest way, it somehow soothes my deepest fears. I like it.
Do I love her that much or am I addicted to pain? Perhaps I simply don’t like to complain. If she asked, for her, I would end my life with a choke chain. This may bring fear to some, but I like it.
Strangers would argue that I’m mentally unstable and emotionally abused. Those who know me, are aware that my love for her is real. I love her with all of her defects. I love the pain she inflicts on me and the way it makes me feel. I really like it.
I am an old school woman with an east coast flare. He’s not here now, but I know he’s out there somewhere. When he is in love, day and night, he thinks of me. He longs to be by my side for he can’t imagine being elsewhere.
I am an endless romantic. When he is in love, for me, he tells me he will swim across the Atlantic. He brings me flowers daily and his love for me is plainly visible. When he is in love, I know that life without him would be unlivable.
When he is in love, he calls me minutes after our date. He does not wait days to tell me his time with me was great. He continually demonstrates that chivalry is not dead. He never lets his charm and good looks get to his head.
When he is in love, he is a true prince. Of his love for me, there is no one in this world I need to convince. He is genuine, kind, humble and respectful. He does not play games but with me, he is very playful. His love for me is real. Our connection, although invisible, is stronger than steel. I love his confidence and how his embrace makes me feel.
When he is in love, for me, I can feel his deep desire. Without speaking a word, he takes me by the hand and in his eyes, I see the reflection of our cozy and inviting fire.
When he is in love.
Will I ever stop missing you? Time will tell. I know one thing, what you and I had was real. For me, the gloom in June is real for June third is always difficult and repeatedly seems surreal.
People say things happen for a reason. There are things I don’t believe in and there are things I can’t explain. When Miss C came home, in more ways than one, she helped ease my pain.
I’ve been through some tough times. One after another. First I lost you, then I lost my mother. At times, my body aches, my mind tires but my heart keeps beating in search of fulfilling all its desires.
Will I ever laugh the way I joyfully did with you? Time will tell. I’m optimistic. Regardless of how bad my situation, I never see it as a living hell.
It is said that all wounds take time to heal. What about my emotional scars? How long must they stay concealed? Will these one day be revealed? Time will tell.
I remember the fun times we had every May third. In silence, on that day, regardless of injury or surgery, I still celebrate our anniversary. Will this continue? Time will tell.
This past July, you and I, ‘celebrated’ 58 years of marriage. We raised nine children and always protected them from numerous dangers. Now, our kids are all gone and you and I look at each other like strangers.
Has this always been the case? Were we too busy to notice? Where did we go wrong? When did our love life go numb? I remember the days when, to put food on our table, you would put your life in danger. There is no one is this world that knows you better than I do. Why then do you seem like a complete stranger?
For you, there is nothing I wouldn’t give. My life, my blood, my soul. To regain your love, there is no wrong you can do that I would not forgive.
Yes, we are apart. That small detail reinforces that my love for you will forever remain engraved in my heart. The heartache of losing you is something I will never outlive. Even with all your rejections, from afar, I will be by your side as long as I live.
Hoy en tu cumpleaños, de buenos deseos y felicitaciones, de tu familia, amistades y amigos te llegará una tormenta. Yo, alejado de ti, con una simple llamada, intentaré ser el rayo que a tu tormenta penetra.
Tendrás buenos deseos de amistades virtuales. Te enviarán flores, abrazos y corazones digitales. Muchos vendrán de personas que no conoces. Algunas, si las conocieras, como el agua se separa del aceite, rápidamente de su lado te alejarías.
Por tu ser, la tormenta será bienvenida. Pues de estos halagos y buenos deseos, hay una escasez grande en tu vida. Amistades y conocidos pueden ser numerosos. Familia y verdaderos amigos no abundan. Aun menos, son las personas con quien establecer una relación verdadera y profunda.
Hoy en tu cumpleaños, deja el paraguas en casa y disfruta de esta anual tormenta. Si me toca suerte, escucharas mi llamada, contestaras tu teléfono y así convirtiéndola en el rayo que a tu tormenta penetra.
En la última noche de octubre, clara y fresca, con precaución, compartí un momento agradable contigo. Mi cuerpo sentía frío. Ausente de mi abrigo, para brindarme calor, me regalaste un abrazo y me gusto.
Sentir el calor de tu cuerpo me asusto. Pensando en tus caricias y sabrosos besos, te confieso, que me gusto. En tu presencia, yo me siento a gusto. En tu ausencia, extraño tus besos y la tranquilidad que tus palabras me hacen sentir. Deseando el momento en que nuevamente estemos juntos, pienso en lo que muchos afirman cuando dicen que el amor hace sufrir.
El no tratarte antes, en el momento, me brindó tranquilidad. Entre más tiempo pasa y disfrutando de tu amistad, me estoy dando cuenta de tu persona y tu gran sinceridad. Mi impenetrable barrera, de vez en cuando, su guardia debe bajar para poder enfrentar la vida y toda su realidad.
En solo pensar en rehacer mi vida, me asusto. El miedo de equivocarme, como la inmensa luna, es real y en mi ser existe. Lo que a tu lado sentí en aquella noche de octubre es indescriptible. Había precaución. Sentí miedo pero no me asusto. Al contrario, nuevamente te confieso, que me gusto.