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“If I Could”

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“If I Could”

“If I Could”

If I could, every morning I would bring you a flower. Not just any flower. I would bring you the purple orchid. Yes, the one you held in your final hour.

If I could, I would take back every word I uttered against you. I would forever hold on to your hugs, tears, smiles and laughter. I miss you so much. I wish you were here. I long for your words, your discipline and your soft touch.

I miss your voice, your hair and the reflection of love in your eyes. I miss your look of anger when I told little white lies.

In your memory, I visit your grave. I bring you a purple orchid and I look up at the skies. Sometimes they are grey but more often blue. If I stare long enough, I see an image of you. Sometimes there is rain and I pray that it washes away my pain.

I miss you, mom.

“For You”

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“For You”

For you, there is nothing I wouldn’t give. My life, my blood, my soul. To regain your love, there is no wrong you can do that I would not forgive.

Yes, we are apart. That small detail reinforces that my love for you will forever remain engraved in my heart. The heartache of losing you is something I will never outlive. Even with all your rejections, from afar, I will be by your side as long as I live.

For a reason…

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I often hear the phrase, “Everything happens for a reason.” Your neighbor’s view on this philosophy might be different than yours. Of course, you may both have the same view. There are only two possibilities.

There are some who will try to prove their viewpoint with facts while their neighbor will simply blame the cat for all the good and bad that happens in their life. Then, there are what I call spectators. The ones who don’t exactly publicize their viewpoint at all. They simply live life and observe. I like to think of them as those fans you will find at a baseball game with a scorebook and pencil in hand. It takes wisdom to be a spectator.

I believe they have successfully managed to, at will, tap into their sixth sense, which I believe we all have. When something happens, they don’t just see. They have also learned to observe and therefore process the information differently than someone who just ‘sees’ what is happening around them or, sadly, to them. I like to think of it as them not blinking when a critical sign in their life flashes before their eyes.

I’m quite certain that if you look around your house you will find a pencil. You might even find several. The question is, Will you find a scorebook?