alone

“Forgotten”

This morning, I started off my day like any other day. Something was different, and I didn’t feel quite right. All day, I pretended not to know what it was. I did know. Like clockwork, those thoughts showed up again at night.

Expressing one’s feelings is no easy task. Even more difficult, is disguising your pain by wearing a happy mask. Now more than ever, I think of the phrase, ‘Out of Sight, Out of Mind’. Many years ago, I was forced to leave my country, and my family behind.

I lost contact with my two young children. They are out of sight, but always in my heart, and never out of mind. Out of sight, out of mind. That’s how I feel. Those thoughts creep up on me every night, as I sit at my table, alone, to enjoy my evening meal.

My heart feels broken. I long for my family to reach out and say hello, and perhaps ask how I feel. They all live busy lives, no doubt about that. When I pray for them and their families, I ask God to give them a minute to call me so we can chat.

I feel invisible. I feel like I don’t exist. I know that’s not true, for I can see myself. The fact that I can feel is proof that I am alive, that I can still wish, and that I am real.

If I don’t reach out every now and then, I would probably never hear from any of them. For whatever harm I have caused them, I ask for their forgiveness. I forgive them all, even though by them, I feel forgotten. I love them dearly, and my love for them, will never go rotten.