love
“I Like It”
“I Like It”
Her ill-intended words are music to my ears. Her well-intended silence is always a stab to my heart and in the strangest way, it somehow soothes my deepest fears. I like it.
Do I love her that much or am I addicted to pain? Perhaps I simply don’t like to complain. If she asked, for her, I would end my life with a choke chain. This may bring fear to some, but I like it.
Strangers would argue that I’m mentally unstable and emotionally abused. Those who know me, are aware that my love for her is real. I love her with all of her defects. I love the pain she inflicts on me and the way it makes me feel. I really like it.
“When He Is in Love”
“When He Is in Love”
I am an old school woman with an east coast flare. He’s not here now, but I know he’s out there somewhere. When he is in love, day and night, he thinks of me. He longs to be by my side for he can’t imagine being elsewhere.
I am an endless romantic. When he is in love, for me, he tells me he will swim across the Atlantic. He brings me flowers daily and his love for me is plainly visible. When he is in love, I know that life without him would be unlivable.
When he is in love, he calls me minutes after our date. He does not wait days to tell me his time with me was great. He continually demonstrates that chivalry is not dead. He never lets his charm and good looks get to his head.
When he is in love, he is a true prince. Of his love for me, there is no one in this world I need to convince. He is genuine, kind, humble and respectful. He does not play games but with me, he is very playful. His love for me is real. Our connection, although invisible, is stronger than steel. I love his confidence and how his embrace makes me feel.
When he is in love, for me, I can feel his deep desire. Without speaking a word, he takes me by the hand and in his eyes, I see the reflection of our cozy and inviting fire.
When he is in love.
“Time Will Tell”
“Time Will Tell”
Will I ever stop missing you? Time will tell. I know one thing, what you and I had was real. For me, the gloom in June is real, for June third is always difficult, and it repeatedly seems surreal.
People say things happen for a reason. There are things I don’t believe in, and there are things I can’t explain. When Miss C came home, in more ways than one, she helped ease my pain.
I’ve been through some tough times. One after another. First I lost you, then I lost my mother. At times, my body aches, my mind tires but my heart keeps beating in search of fulfilling all of its desires.
Will I ever laugh the way I joyfully did with you? Time will tell. I’m optimistic. Regardless of how bad my situation, I never see it as a living hell.
It is said that all wounds take time to heal. What about my emotional scars? How long must they stay concealed? Will these one day be revealed? Time will tell.
I remember the fun times we had every May third. In silence, on that day, regardless of injury or surgery, I still celebrate our anniversary. Will this continue? Time will tell.
“For You”
“For You”
For you, there is nothing I wouldn’t give. My life, my blood, my soul. To regain your love, there is no wrong you can do that I would not forgive.
Yes, we are apart. That small detail reinforces that my love for you will forever remain engraved in my heart. The heartache of losing you is something I will never outlive. Even with all your rejections, from afar, I will be by your side as long as I live.
“Now”
“Now”
Now. The time to celebrate, love, hug, kiss, help or appreciate someone is now. Not when they are dead. By then, your name or any precious memories will no longer roam in their head. You will simply cry over their empty bed while you choke on all the words you wish you would have said.
You can choose to reach out now. Don’t know how? Ask a friend who’s lost a parent. They may show you how. When they reach out to you, give them your attention as there may be important and life changing things they would like to mention.
Enjoy their presence now. Tell them how much you appreciate them for who they are. A mistake we often make is to see someone only as a cash cow. If you are healthy and able, enjoy with them all that heaven and earth will allow.
Yes. The time is now. You might be right when you see nothing but blue skies ahead. Remember, death has a way of disguising a black cloud over our head. One minute we are enjoying life and the next minute we could be dead.
Why wait until someone is laying in a coffin to bring them a bouquet of roses or even a single flower? You can do so much more now. Don’t wait until their final hour.
The time is now. All we have is now.
“Me Gusto”
“Me Gustó”
En la última noche de octubre, clara y fresca, con precaución, compartí un momento agradable contigo. Mi cuerpo sentía frío. Ausente de mi abrigo, para brindarme calor, me regalaste un abrazo, y me gustó.
Sentir el calor de tu cuerpo me asusto. Pensando en tus caricias y sabrosos besos, te confieso, que me gusto. En tu presencia, yo me siento a gusto. En tu ausencia, extraño tus besos y la tranquilidad que tus palabras me hacen sentir. Deseando el momento en que nuevamente estemos juntos, pienso en lo que muchos afirman cuando dicen que el amor hace sufrir.
El no tratarte antes, en el momento, me brindó tranquilidad. Entre más tiempo pasa y disfrutando de tu amistad, me estoy dando cuenta de tu persona y tu gran sinceridad. Mi impenetrable barrera, de vez en cuando, su guardia debe bajar para poder enfrentar la vida y toda su realidad.
En solo pensar en rehacer mi vida, me asusto. El miedo de equivocarme, como la inmensa luna, es real y en mi ser existe. Lo que a tu lado sentí en aquella noche de octubre es indescriptible. Había precaución. Sentí miedo pero no me asusto. Al contrario, nuevamente te confieso, que me gustó.
“There Will Be Tears”
“There Will Be Tears”
Today, after five years, what we had, came to an end as I watched your blue eyes shed two lonely tears.
It was two thirty in the morning. From a local motel to your place, I considered walking. It was not far, but I somehow I arrived in a car. You were asleep so I walked in without knocking.
My presence awoke you. Was it my manly aroma? The mere presence of my persona? Perhaps it was just Kona?
The urge to smoke was strong. The desire for sex was stronger. What could go wrong? Before and after, I smoked a cigarette. Is this something that I will one day regret?
We slept. We cuddled. We woke. As in many past mornings, you offered me coffee. I walked you to work. Unlike the day in Kona, when I proposed, our time together was rushed and not exactly right. Was I walking away from our future, which at one point we imagined as happy and bright? The morning was cloudy and the ground was wet. Something I noticed as I hugged you goodbye and our bodies met.
I’m already missing you, the clean crisp air and the Oregon rain. Has my excitement to leave numbed my pain? While in LA, what will I experience? Perhaps a new girlfriend, smog or toxic rain? Only time will tell. Once I am there, if I don’t like my job or my boss, I can always send them to hell.
“I Belong”
“I Belong”
My travels, often long but few,
Continually keep me on the front lines,
Far and away from you.
Blessed to have you,
I pray for your well being,
And for my safe return,
For on this soil, by your side,
Forever I belong.
Seconds before your last kiss,
And just before my departure,
I close my eyes and in my mind,
Under the dim lights, the bright sun,
Or the clear moonlight,
Your last pose I capture.
When we are apart,
You are closer to my heart.
As I leave our nest,
I begin my quest, to on command,
Relive the moment when I captured your last pose.
For in your absence, frozen in time,
This moment feeds my heart,
Which forever holds you close.
The thought of leaving you is frightening.
The possibility of never returning
Is as real as all the stars lighting my nights,
When they are brightly shining.
While I am away, my mission is to survive,
And to protect my countrymen,
Even if I will never again be seen alive.
When I am at home, with you,
My mission is to be the best husband I can be.
To make you happy, make you feel safe,
And bring you smiles, all while wishing for the day,
When I never again have to traverse those immense oceans,
Or walk those long miles.
My journeys without you,
Although bearable,
Are always grueling and long.
As I move from port to port,
Your unconditional love,
Understanding and support,
Are my pillars and my strength,
To keep moving forward,
To protect my country,
For in it, and next to you,
Forever I belong.